Tony goes crazy because of an oversized fly and spends the evening chasing it around

Tonight there was an oversized fly in the kitchen while we were cooking dinner. It was large, but, I mean, it was also a fly. Which means, of course, that by its very nature, it is still small. It also means that it doesn't bite or sting, and it doesn't make a buzzing noise. It just flies. It's really not that big of a deal.

Unless you're Tony.

Tony made it his mission to destroy said oversized fly. It went like this:

Tony: That fly is massive.
Me: Yes, it's pretty big.
Tony: That's annoying, I am going to kill it.
Me: Mmm-hmmm.
Tony: How do you kill a fly?
Me: I'm pretty sure that means you're not going to kill the fly.
Tony: Really, what should I kill it with?
Me: How about a newspaper?
Tony: Good idea!

Then Tony picks up a roll of newspaper and starts trying to kill the fly. It looked like this. I wish I had video of this.



(So don't judge my dirty kitchen and the poor quality of these photos. They were taken on my phone, okay? And that box of mac n cheese? Please. I don't eat like that. It's just there because I was planning on bringing it down to the foodbank. Yeah, that's it.)


Me: You should probably wait until it lands.
Tony: It's not landing.
Me: Okay but you look like a crazy person. I would just wait until it lands.
Tony: Or I can chase it around and wear it out until it lands.
Me: Great idea.

So we proceeded to make dinner and Tony continued to look like a crazy person chasing the fly. I started cleaning up a bit and accidentally recycled his newspaper.

Tony: What the-- wait? Where is my newspaper?
Me: Oh, sorry. I recycled it.
Tony: Oh WHAT?! How am I supposed to kill the fly now?
Me: Just go take it out of the recycling. It's right on top.
Tony: What? Ew. No, I'm not going to do that.
Me: You're using it to kill a fly.
Tony: It's fine, I will just use this shoe instead.
Me: Please don't break anything.

I went back to what I was doing until, from the other room, I heard:

Tony: I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM! YOU ARE DEAD YOU STUPID OVERSIZED FLY!
Me: He can't hear you.
Tony: LOOK! LOOK HOW BIG HE WAS AND I KILLED HIM!
Me: Pick it up. I want to take a picture.





So I didn't get a picture of the part where he was pumping his fists in the air in celebration, because, quite frankly, I didn't think he'd actually get the fly, so... I didn't have my camera ready. But basically what you missed was both fists in the air like the guy who just won the gold medal in the Olympics, except not just like any old Olympic athlete, but like, the guy who went to the Olympics from one of those countries you've never heard of but he just narrowly beat out the American guy and now he is going to go back and feed his entire village and he's crying and they're playing that music montage that shows pictures of him running barefoot on dirt and cutting back to his victory and he's doing that same arms-raised thing that Tony was doing when he killed the fly.

And that was our evening's entertainment. And also the reason I started this blog.
Stay tuned, folks.