tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67323025782977035272024-03-07T23:45:39.331-08:00Things Tony Says and DoesTony is my fiance. These are the things that he says and does.Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-47706727021065416942010-03-04T23:54:00.000-08:002010-03-05T00:07:45.463-08:00Tony has no shame. None. I think he lost it somewhere, but he is not looking for it, that's for sure.For Valentine's Day, Tony and I went out to dinner at one of our favorite little restaurants in town. It's a nice, classy joint with fancy drinks and expensive entrees.<br />Tony wore a vest.<br />I bought it for him for Christmas because I thought it would look cute on him, and it does.<br />(I also bought him a scarf, because the whole month of December he walked around saying, "My neck is cold.")<br />So anyway, back to the vest. It has two little tiny pockets in the front. They are decorative. They're not even big enough to put anything in, so they're not really for storage. And, well, you'll see why they're not made to keep your hands warm.<br /><br />This is what Tony did once he was done eating:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S5C5D--3zbI/AAAAAAAABi0/9QikUr4KEXQ/s1600-h/IMG_5400.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S5C5D--3zbI/AAAAAAAABi0/9QikUr4KEXQ/s320/IMG_5400.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445055427588378034" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S5C5C36hciI/AAAAAAAABis/sZ2ODzSawNg/s1600-h/IMG_5399.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S5C5C36hciI/AAAAAAAABis/sZ2ODzSawNg/s320/IMG_5399.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445055408511218210" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S5C5CEN6ZJI/AAAAAAAABik/8ATCCM1g1Vw/s1600-h/IMG_5398.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S5C5CEN6ZJI/AAAAAAAABik/8ATCCM1g1Vw/s320/IMG_5398.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445055394633901202" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I was just giggling and taking photos, and the conversation went like this:<br />(In all seriousness) Tony: "What are you laughing about?"<br />Me: "Those pockets are not made to put your hands in. You look ridiculous."<br />Tony: "No I don't. I look awesome." (This is one of Tony's go-to phrases.)<br />Me: Silence.<br />Tony: "Well, here. Let's ask the waitress."<br />Me: "Ask the waitress what?"<br />Tony: "If I look ridiculous."<br /><br />And he did. He asked her. In fact, he summoned her over and said, "I have a question for you" in the "Can I talk to your manager" voice.<br />Pause.<br />"Do you think I look ridiculous with my hands in my pocket like this?"<br /><br />She said no. (She wanted her tip, I'm sure.)<br />Tony was so proud of himself.Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-39365002805375750132010-03-04T23:53:00.001-08:002010-03-04T23:53:57.737-08:00Tony just called himself my fianco, the male version of fiance.I have new posts coming soon, I promise!Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-55730285926105355502010-02-08T14:28:00.000-08:002010-02-08T14:39:14.319-08:00Tony says all the wrong things, and it is funnyWe just downloaded these new games on our iphones called "Associate This" where it gives you words, and you have to type in words that associate. It ends up being a big web and words are interconnected, etc. There are a couple of versions of the game, the general version, the movie version, USA version and one simply called "Girls." Last night we wanted to try and fill one out together and our remaining choices were "USA" and "Girls." We chose girls because I decided that Tony could complete USA by himself, but might need my help for Girls.<br /><br />So we start out, and the first word is, not surprisingly, girls. We type in things like "Pink", "Diamonds", "Fashion", "Jewelery" etc. And yes, these are all answers. It's mildly offensive.<br /><br />After awhile we've answered a few questions and we're trying to come up with words that associate with "Marriage" and "Love".<br /><br />Me:<br />"Wedding"<br /><br />Tony:<br />"Divorce!"<br /><br />Eventually we learn that it starts with an "r-e"<br /><br />Tony:<br />Regret<br />Reconsider<br />Reproduce<br /><br />Yes. This is the person I'm marrying. Should I be worried?Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-6741970223467526462010-01-26T14:21:00.000-08:002010-01-26T14:24:27.779-08:00Tony is not kidding about this beard thing, and it does not help that Zach Galafinakis was hilarious in a movie we watched last nightYesterday Tony said,<br />"Today in the shower, I shampooed my beard."<br /><br /><a href="http://thingstonysaysanddoes.blogspot.com/2010/01/tony-is-still-as-ridiculous-as-ever-now.html">This </a>bachelor party is in April.<br />It is January.<br /><br />Well then, here we go...Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-92036635594922708462010-01-20T12:28:00.000-08:002010-01-20T12:37:04.308-08:00Tony is still as ridiculous as ever now that we are engaged, do not let the lack of recent posts make you think otherwise.<div>Tony's best friend is getting married in a few months, and they are planning his bachelor party in, where else, Las Vegas.<br /><br /><div>Last night Tony said to me:<br /></div><br /><div>Tony: "OH! I forgot to tell you something really important!"<br /></div><br /><div>Me: Oh, what?<br /></div><br /><div>Tony: I have decided that I am not going to shave my beard until after Jeff's bachelor party.<br /></div><br /><div>Me: Huh. Ok.<br /></div><br /><div>Tony: Don't you want to know why? </div><br /><div><br />Me: Not really.<br /></div><br /><div>Tony: So I can look like Zach Galifianakis from the Hangover!<br /></div><br /><div>Me: (nothing)<br /></div><br /><div>Tony: What do you think of that idea?<br /></div><br /><div>Me: Ok. Cool.<br /></div><br /><div>Tony: Don't you think that's awesome?<br /></div><br /><div>Me: I don't really have an opinion on it.<br /></div><br /><div>Tony: It's going to be so awesome. </div><br /><div></div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S1dofLdF10I/AAAAAAAABgE/KMHwITpFSzo/s1600-h/the_hangover_movie_image_zach_galifianakis.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 247px; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428922760678463298" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S1dofLdF10I/AAAAAAAABgE/KMHwITpFSzo/s320/the_hangover_movie_image_zach_galifianakis.jpg" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S1dpRCCeu0I/AAAAAAAABgM/aXqAngenkXY/s1600-h/20977_561503301003_28201896_33100940_1345080_n.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 240px; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428923617144388418" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/S1dpRCCeu0I/AAAAAAAABgM/aXqAngenkXY/s320/20977_561503301003_28201896_33100940_1345080_n.jpg" /></a></div>Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-52160836386072325462009-12-27T20:04:00.000-08:002009-12-27T20:20:20.884-08:00Tony asks me to marry him, and I say yes!Usually I use this blog space to make fun of Tony, and to tease him about the silly, ridiculous things that he, well, says and does.<br />But not today!<br />Today I have very exciting news!<br /><br />Tony & I are engaged!<br /><br />On Christmas day, Tony got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I don't really remember what he said, but I'm pretty sure I managed to mutter the word "yes". If I didn't, then the answer is <span style="font-style: italic;">yes</span> my darling. But you already knew that, since I have your beautiful ring on my finger already.Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-34770420433032118302009-12-14T13:53:00.000-08:002009-12-14T14:28:14.676-08:00Tony wears his new santa hat everywhere, including the grocery store, the movie theater & parties, where he rubs it and says "feel my hat, it's soft."This post is unrelated to the title, because I don't have anything else to say about his new obsession with his santa hat, and because I couldn't think of a clever title for this post.<br /><br />Me: Hey Tony can I have a bowl of cereal?<br />Tony: Sure<br />Me: Do you want one?<br />Tony: No there is only enough left for one bowl.<br />Me: Oh, then nevermind. I will save it for you to have for breakfast.<br />Tony: No, you can have it.<br />Me: No, no, I'll find something else to eat.<br />Tony: No, eat it. We've got to make you fat, make you fat, make you fat. (sung)<br />Me: Why would you want to make me fat?<br />Tony: What? Huh? Oh, nothing. It's not like I'm going to eat you or something.Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-77566966575073533682009-12-03T13:14:00.001-08:002009-12-03T13:17:23.246-08:00Tony makes up ridiculous names for me and, as usual, it spirals out of control. I'm sensing a theme here.<p>Here are some examples of names Tony calls me:</p><p>Darlin' (this is my favorite)</p><p>Ma'am (as in, "Yes'm?" It's a Southern thing, I guess.)</p><p>Sugar Muffin (Or any food preceeded by the word sugar)</p><p>Bowl of Cereal (Yes, he called me this)</p><p>Honeybaked Ham (And I reply, "Are you calling me fat?" Then he quickly switches to sugar-something)</p><p>The other day he sent me an email and at the end it said, </p><p>And this is a quote,</p><p>"Thanks baby doll sweetie muffin cake sugar honey bacon chocolate donut TV pizzalicious video-game christmas thanksgiving boo!"</p>Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-48113172055666702972009-11-17T18:10:00.000-08:002009-12-03T13:18:40.349-08:00Tony gets a toy made for children and instantly becomes a child; he is also starting to realize that when he is ridiculous, I will write about itToday I went to a FedEx meeting for work. At the end of the seminar, they had a raffle and I won a model FedEx airplane.<br />I showed it to Tony when I saw him. He was beyond excited.<br /><br />First, he opened the package and said,<br />"This is not an airplane. It's a tube that says FedEx."<br />I said,<br />"You have to assemble it."<br />He said,<br />"I get to assemble it?! Sweet!"<br /><br />And so he did.<br /><br />At this point we were in the car driving and so naturally he pretended that his airplane was flying. Complete with flying noises and, yes, holding it up to the window next to other cars driving by in an attempt to "race" them.<br /><a href="http://s127.photobucket.com/albums/p121/crazymaureen/?action=view&current=IMG_0141.jpg" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 451px; HEIGHT: 337px" border="0" alt="Photobucket" src="http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p121/crazymaureen/IMG_0141.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://s127.photobucket.com/albums/p121/crazymaureen/?action=view&current=IMG_0143.jpg" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 437px; HEIGHT: 638px" border="0" alt="Photobucket" src="http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p121/crazymaureen/IMG_0143.jpg" /></a><br />The following are also real quotes that he said.<br />"There are no red lights in the sky." (Sad that I ruined his flight by stopping the car.)<br />"There is a bike riding in the sky!" (When we passed a bike.)<br />"We're crashing! AAAAH! Where's Sully Sullenburger? Ahh we're going down, it's all over, the end! Ahh!... says the Fedex packages."<br /><a href="http://s127.photobucket.com/albums/p121/crazymaureen/?action=view&current=IMG_0142.jpg" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 420px; HEIGHT: 361px" border="0" alt="Photobucket" src="http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p121/crazymaureen/IMG_0142.jpg" /></a><br /><br />And just now as he was leaving, I closed my computer as he walked up to me and he said,<br />"It's Things Tony Says And Does, isn't it?"<br />And I said,<br />"Yep."<br />And he said,<br />"It's about the plane, isn't it?"<br />And I said,<br />"Yep."<br />And he said,<br />"Yeah, I deserved that."Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-56177682223358466522009-11-12T10:00:00.000-08:002009-11-12T10:17:51.665-08:00Tony thinks TV's work both ways and that if he yells at the players and announcers during his important football game that maybe they'll hear himI know I've addressed this before, but Tony is a HUGE University of Texas Fan.<br />And nothing brings it out in him like college football season.<br />And then, NOTHING brings it out more than one particular football game.<br /><br />University of Texas vs. University of Oklahoma.<br />It's a biiiig deal.<br />Tony had no one to watch the game with this year, seeing as how we don't live anywhere near Texas and his only Texas-raised friends were not in town. So he watched it alone. But that did not tame him. Oh no, it did not. I stuck around for about 30 minutes of the game, but it was long enough for me to get ample video to be used on this blog.<br /><br />And as I was leaving, I could still hear him shouting all the way down the street.<br /><br />PS Full Disclosure- Tony had to help me make this video. I don't really know how to make videos and he does. It's kind of his thing. But the idea was mine, and he just helped me piece it together. So there you have it.<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dznwzp0NRxhrUzNaxN0v4IrcYMnVkPqKWP2-j5l85MUyW2Vh0KmdtcQpNFOn0gjlSUqbySXbwyN_p1njI5MLQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-9191243775103791662009-11-09T17:07:00.000-08:002009-11-09T17:13:10.774-08:00Tony turns a simple conversation into a ridiculous one that ends up with him leaving me because i'm an overcaffeinated druggie.This is the exact dialogue from a chat session I just had with Tony, a mere moment ago:<br /><br />me: i have a lot of projects to do! i have to make the stuffed animals for the kids and the aprons for you guys and then presents for my friends whose weddings i didnt buy for which i might do [deleted in case they are reading this] and then artwork for three people's walls!<br /><br />Tony: shit <br />that's a lot of stuff <br />hmm<br /><br />me: yeah i know!<br /><br />Tony: all tonight?<br /><br />me: no!<br />thats like weeks worth of work!<br /><br />Tony: whew <br />good <br />i was afraid you would have to stay up all night <br />then you would need caffeine pills<br /><br />me: hahaha that would take forever, theres no way i can do it tonight<br /><br />Tony: and you would get really crazy<br /><br />me: plus why would i need it done tonight?<br /><br />Tony: and then you'd become addicted to them <br />and i'd try and take you to rehab but it wouldn't stick <br />and eventually i would have to decide whether to stay with you or leave you in a drugged up state <br />what a sad story<br /><br />me: yes, tragic<br /><br />Tony: good thing that won't happen<br /><br />me: good thingMaureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-35108354307615105972009-11-04T20:34:00.000-08:002009-11-05T18:11:33.739-08:00Tony watches a really sad movie but somehow turns it into a comedy and also thinks he speaks Hindi and has no idea what he's sayingSo if you've seen Slumdog Millionaire, you know that it is absolutely not a comedy. I don't even think it has one funny line in the whole movie.<br />It's a great movie, it's amazing. But it's not funny.<br /><br />Leave it to Tony to turn a drama/tragedy/action-packed/sad/beautiful movie into a comedy.<br />Watch this clip in case you haven't seen the movie. It's just a trailer, it won't give it away.<br /><br /><object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AIzbwV7on6Q&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AIzbwV7on6Q&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="340" width="560"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />This post has four parts. All of them include Tony being ridiculous, and turning a drama into a comedy.<br /><br />Part One:<br />The host in Slumdog Millionaire says,<br />"Welcome back to Who Wants To Be A <span style="font-style: italic;">Millon-aire.</span>" (<span style="font-style: italic;">Millon</span>, not million, see the difference?) Just watch the first part of the video above if you want to hear how he says it.<br /><br />So now Tony walks around all the time and says things like:<br />"If I were a <span style="font-style: italic;">millonaire</span>, I'd buy you that."<br />"I wish I had more of these. I could really use a <span style="font-style: italic;">millon</span> of them."<br />"I feel like a millon bucks."<br /><br /><br />Part Two:<br />The main character in Slumdog Millionaire delivers chai to the people in his office, so this makes him a <span style="font-style: italic;">chai-wallah</span>, one who makes chai.<br /><br />So now Tony walks around all the time saying things like:<br />"You're a chai-wallah."<br />"I'll chai-wallah you."<br />"Do you want this soup? I will be a soup-wallah."<br /><br />Part Three:<br />The closing credits to Slumdog Millionaire feature a Bollywood style dance scene where the characters dance to a song called "Jai Ho" on the subway station landing. Tony has no idea what Jai Ho means. But he likes to think that he does.<br /><br />So now Tony walks around all the time saying things like:<br />"Jai-Ho!"<br />"Do you want to Jai Ho over there?"<br />"Let's Jai Ho."<br /><br />I looked it up on the internet and Jai Ho apparently means, "May you be victorious." Shocking. It is not a verb, as Tony likes to think.<br /><br />Part Four:<br />In the movie, when the kid states his final answer, the host says, "Computer-ji Lock Kiya-jaye"<br /><br />So not Tony walks around all the time saying things like:<br />"Computer Ji"<br />"Let's see... what should we have for dinner... Computer Ji, Lock Kiya-jaye!"<br />"Computer Ji- Lock Kiya Jaye - doo doo doo doo doo" (Who wants to be a millionaire theme song)<br /><br /><br />So yeah, we've watched lots of movies since then. I'm really hoping another one will strike his fancy so that he stops quoting Slumdog Millionaire all the time.<br /><br />In the meantime,<br />Jai-Ho!Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-45371303291984917722009-10-21T09:23:00.000-07:002009-10-21T09:29:14.450-07:00Tony obviously knows nothing about diseases, like the time he went to Canada and came back saying that he had Calaria, the Canadian version of malaria(Walking, in the rain.)<br /><br />Tony: I hope I don't catch Pneumonia. Or Swine Flu.<br />Me: How would you catch swine flu from the rain?<br />Tony: Do you know the expression <em>when pigs fly</em>?<br />Me: Yes....<br />Tony: Well pigs don't fly. They fall from the sky. In the form of raindrops.<br />Me: Interesting. Pigs are pretty large though, and these raindrops don't seem to resemble pigs at all.<br />Tony: Well, they are just parts of pigs.<br />Me: So... like bacon?<br />Tony: (huge grin) I WISH! I am just waiting for the day when bacon falls from the sky. That will be the best day ever. Everyone in the world's dreams will come true (well, just dream. It's just one thing. And maybe just my dream, I might be the only one who dreams for that) and we'll all join hands and be happy and partake in a delicious breakfast! Except Muslims.<br />Me: And vegetarians.<br />Tony: And PETA. But everyone else. It will be so glorious....Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-51472990472485052102009-10-16T19:33:00.000-07:002009-10-16T20:00:22.639-07:00Tony takes a survey where I ask him a million questions and sit in silence long enough for him to forget that I'm typing and just talk all crazy-likeDear Readers of Things Tony Says and Does,<br />Our friend Melissa who writes the blog <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.duolynoted.com">Duoly Noted</a> has bequeathed upon us a totally rad award called “Over the Top”, which means we get to put a sweet little icon in the sidebar of the blog so that everyone who visits our blog is like, “Oh, what?! This blog is over the top!” And then there will be proof.<br />Oh but these awards do not come cheap. No, they don’t. In order to claim this award we must answer a long list of questions. Most people answer them on their own, but since this blog is about Tony, I made him answer them. I am a super speedy typer so basically I just sat there and typed as he talked. I did not alter this, even a tiny bit. These are literally the words that came straight from his mouth.<br /><br />Buckle up folks, this is long.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Where is your cell phone?</span> It’s in my front pocket. Why?<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">[Now he understands we’ve started. So now he actually starts answering. Or something like that.]</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Your hair:</span> is itchy. My scalp is kinda dry. I think I need to change shampoos. Or at least get another one. A moisturizing one. I used a q-tip for the first time today. It was gross. It was really gross. I had to use two.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Your mother:</span> Is the sweetest woman I’ve ever known.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Your father:</span> I hope to be half the man he is.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Your favorite food: </span>Usually involves bacon.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Your dream from last night:</span> Oh man, um, well, I was a part of this crime-fighting unit and we were actually going after, it was, I don’t know it was kinda 1950s style, or 1920s, I don’t know, the film noir era of the detective comic except it was a bunch of detectives and we all had our inner monologues and we could all hear each other’s inner monologues. I guess you could just call that outer monologues. Well it wasn’t really outer monologue because we weren’t speaking. So it was more like outer telepathy. Anywhooo... for whatever reason we were going after Ben Stiller. He was the mastermind behind something-or-other and we were all trying to decide how we were going to go capture him and stuff. (Are you writing all this crazy shit down?) I don’t remember what happened, I had those boats again, we drove to some place that we knew was his headquarters operation and we had those boats. Remember I told you about the boats, they have two wheels. Anyway and we got there and he was like, “You caught me” and then served us all lobster bisque. And we sort of went like, alright we did it, and then we ate our lobster bisque and then I woke up.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Your favorite drink:</span> Well this wine is pretty good right now but I would have to say cognac.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Your dream/goal:</span> Win an Oscar. In EVERY CATEGORY. Not really. But win an Oscar. Or at this point, an Emmy. Not to say that an Emmy is any worse, you know. Obviously not a Grammy because I have no musical talent. I’ll say an Emmy or an Oscar. Or a Golden Globe. They’re kinda getting in on the whole thing now too. They’re an accepted award I believe. They’re not used as doorstops any more.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">What room are you in:</span> Living room.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">What is your hobby: </span>Well I would have said film but thats more like my career and I’m not really, well if you had asked me that earlier I would have said hockey but I haven’t played that in forever even though I have all the gear. I guess karaoke. Didn’t know that could be a hobby until now. Kinda interesting.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">What is your fear:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> [long silence.]</span><br />That Maureen types fast enough to get everything that I’ve said in to this page. Because I kinda forgot that I was answering questions to be put on a webpage for awhile. Which is not good.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Where do you want to be in six years:</span> Um I would like to be 33 years old.<span style="font-style: italic;"> [me: the question said where]</span> Tony: I would like to be on the street at 33. <span style="font-style: italic;">[me: you want to be on the street?] </span>Okay maybe not on the street. Uhhh I don’t know where I want to be in six years! That’s ridiculous! Okay I want to be married with eh... at least one kid... whatever job I’m doing, hope it’s in film. Or tv. Or maybe I wrote a novel. Maybe that novel is about World War Two and Japan. Maybe it’s about a young boy who refuses to commit hari kari for his country because he still has his love living in Okinawa and he must get back to her to see his child that he’s never seen. Yeah thats it. That’s as far as I’ve gotten with the story I just made up right now.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Where were you last night:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">[Tony makes James Cagney impression, I ask who James Cagney is, he’s appalled at me, etc, etc, etc.] </span>You’ll never take me alive Copper, meh, see?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Something you are not:</span> Something I am not? Wait, what? Something I am not? What? Something I am not? <span style="font-style: italic;"> [We do this a few more times.] </span>Okay. I am not a dork. I am not dumb. I am not ugly. I am not... uhhh ... what’s a word for the opposite of awesome? You’re just gonna keep typing and not tell me aren’t you? Because I really don’t know the opposite of awesome. Because I just think about awesome all the time, because it’s so like me that its hard to think of an antitheses. It’s like the movie Unbreakable. Samuel L. Jackson is breakable so he finds Bruce Willis who can’t break. So maybe I should find someone who is the opposite of awesome. And then I could be like, “what are you?” Or I guess I could look up antonyms on google. Oh you don’t have internet here.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Muffins: </span>hahaha oh sweet! Like, dutch apple? With the little crumblies on them? Or lemon poppyseed! ‘Cept you can’t eat those before a drug test otherwise they think you’re doing opium. Actually that’s not true. That’s just a myth. Stupid Seinfeld. You’d have to eat like 30 pounds of lemon poppyseed muffins to get like a smidge of opium on a drug test. That’s just way too many muffins. At least for one day.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Wish list items:</span> An Oakley Red Epic Mysterium X Camera with all accessories. No clue how much that would cost. A badass desktop computer for editing. What can you put on a wish list? Can it just be anything?<span style="font-style: italic;"> [me: uh-huh] </span>Tony: Well then I’d probably erase all of those and just be like, whirled peas. I mean world peace. The death of the two party system. And Ron Paul for president.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Where did you grow up:</span> Dallas Texas. Teeexxxxaass. <span style="font-style: italic;">[with accent]</span><br />In the ghetto. On top of a hill. Where I had to climb in the snow. And walk uphill both ways to school. And back home. Did you know that can actually happen? Say you live on one mountain, but the school is on another mountain! So it could happen! People always say it can’t happen, but it could happen. People say it’s ridiculous but it could happen. Plus if you’re in the mountains it would probably snow. I mean that’s just logic.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Last thing you did:</span> Was watch 30 Rock, it was meh, it was alright, I don’t really like the Kenneth episodes. They’re usually not that good. Although Tracey Morgan’s part was pretty funny. I never really liked Jenna.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">What are you wearing:</span> Wouldn’t you like to know? heh heh hehe. eeehhh a hoodie and shorts. It’s my business attire.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Your TV:</span> Is AWESOME. And huge, and the best. Well I mean it was the best. Technology moves kinda fast, but it’s still badass. It’s also the prettiest TV I’ve ever seen. Oh for all those tech guys out there, it’s a Sony Bravia XBR 42 inch LCD.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Your pets:</span> Are all dead. <span style="font-style: italic;">[I laugh, he laughs.]</span> It’s true. Why is that funny? It’s not funny at all actually it’s kinda sad. Stop writing.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Your friends:</span> Are not here for the most part, besides Jeff who lives with me, I don’t know, I only have a few friends. One’s in Mexico, a couple are in Texas, one lives with me and another one’s in California. And I have a few new friends in Portland as well. Yay. Like Katie! Katie is my friend. And she’s going to Switzerland and that makes me sad. When she comes back we’ll watch a movie together. And that makes me happy!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Your life:</span> Has been interesting, it’s very strange. I never would have thought that, you know, life at 27 would have been as full as I’ve had it so far.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Your mood:</span> Tired. Sleeepy. Fly? Punctual. Effervescent. Plagiaristic. Manly. Are those moods? I don’t know if you can be in a manly mood. Yes you can be in a manly mood. I’m in a manly mood! <span style="font-style: italic;">[said in manly voice.]</span> Nostalgic. See now I’m just trying to come up with words that are just hard to spell. pfshhh you have spell check. Cheater.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Missing someone:</span> Uh, no?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Vehicle:</span> I like the concept of them. I believe a computer is a vehicle for your thoughts.<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Something you’re not wearing:</span> Underwear. Oh shit, wait no. A watch. Yeah not wearing a watch. Actually I haven’t worn a watch in in a long time. Maybe I should start wearing a watch again. But watch is definitely my answer, not underwear. Because that would be kinda weird if I was not wearing underwear. Because who does that? Just because it’s freeing and feels kinda good, that still doesn’t make it right does it? Watch is my answer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Your favorite store:</span> Store for what? <span style="font-style: italic;">[me: I don’t know, your favorite store] </span>Tony: store for what? That’s so broad. <span style="font-style: italic;">[me: I didn’t write the question.] </span>Tony: Okay. How ‘bout this. My favorite store for groceries is New Sizzles <span style="font-style: italic;">[he means local grocery chain New Seasons]</span> because it’s cheaper than Whole Foods but just as good, and the people are a lot more friendly. My favorite store for clothes is Banana Republic because the clothes fit right and I guarantee that every guy in the store is gay. And just having something that you know is true is just comforting. My favorite store for electronics is Fry’s because it’s kinda like the Toys R Us of electronics. And you can play a wicked cool game of hide and seek if you want.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Your favorite color:</span> Green. I’m gonna have to disagree with Aerosmith, pink is not my favorite color. That kinda says something about the band I think.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">When’s the last time you laughed:</span> Um, earlier today. At my girlfriend. Not at! But she has great comedic timing. It’s a rare thing for girls. Thats why i looooove her. At least thats one of the reasons. <span style="font-style: italic;">[Reminder: I am not making this up.]</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">When’s the last time you cried: </span>Two days ago. I watched Gladiator. Movies where guys have to overcome dramatic odds always make me cry. Like Rocky. Or Rudy. Or... why do they always begin with the letter R? Maybe I can think of another one. Let’s see... Rambo? No, I didn’t cry in Rambo. Umm. Runaway Bride? That’s not a manly movie though. I didn’t cry in that one though. I just realized that Runaway Bride is Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, and he’s also in Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. Huh. Maybe that’s why that movie did so well. Because it wasn’t a very good movie. It’s like Sleepless in Seattle. And then a few years later they were like, “let’s make a movie that’s new and original with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan and it’s got the exact same plot line and lalala.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Your best friend:</span> lives with me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">One place you go over and over:</span> One place I go TO over and over? <span style="font-style: italic;">[me: I didn’t write the questions.]</span> Tony: What the heck does that mean, one place I go over and over. I don’t know what place I go over and over! I go your house over and over! I go coffee shop over and over. I go store over and over as well. I go Safeway over and over a lot. This question should go english class over and over.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">One person who emails me regularly</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">:</span></span> Um, who emails me regularly? My roommate Jeff emails me fairly regularly with, uh, random things he’s found on the internet. This last one was a picture of an Optimus Prime toy playing with an Optiums Prime-looking toy truck that was smaller, and there was a caption underneath that says, “Stop playing with yourself.” I thought it was funny.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Favorite place to eat:</span> In Portland? <span style="font-style: italic;">[me: I guess just anywhere. I didn’t write the questions.]</span> Tony: Well in Portland I would say Pambiche. I love that place. In the world? I don’t know in the world. In Austin, I would say Trudy’s. In Dallas I would probably say, even though I’ve only been there a handful of times, Del Friscos. In Whitehorse Canada, there’s a hotel that has a restaurant, I believe it’s called the Staghorn. I mean it’s one of five restaurants really but that place is pretty good.<br /><br /><br /><br />Phew. So for the two people who have managed to read through this entire post and are still here- hello! Thank you for reading. Now you know what my world is like. Sorry ladies, he’s taken.<br /><br />The other thing is you’re supposed to tag six people to claim the award. But hello, did you read this? Tony and I don’t have friends. Even other blog friends. So I think we’re just going to skip that part.<br /><br />Thanks Melissa. I can't say I learned anything about him from doing this, but at least it did make us laugh. And hopefully you all appreciate me more for everything I have to put up with.Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-76816361110040773402009-10-12T12:24:00.000-07:002009-10-12T16:30:51.958-07:00Tony has an entire conversation out loud by himself because I refuse to comment and it spirals out of controlYesterday I was feeling congested and I said, "I don't really know what's going on. I can't tell if it's just congestion or if I'm starting to get sick."<br /><br /><br /><br />Apparently, I shouldn't have said that (I know, it seems innocent, right?) because here the conversation went downhill. Fast.<br /><br /><br /><br />Tony: Wouldn't it be cool if you could talk to your diseases?<br /><br />Me: Well <em>this</em> is going to be a weird conversation.<br /><br />Tony: I mean, think about it. You could be all, "Hey Swine Flu, what's the deal? And why are you called Swine Flu anyway? Are you even related to swines?" And Swine Flu would be all, "Well actually we're more closely related to bats, but <em>that</em> would really freak people out so you're welcome."<br /><br />Me: ...<br /><br />Tony: dananananana danananananana BAT FLU!!<br /><br />(Imagine it. He's singing. You know, like Batman? Okay, you got it? Good. Repeat times ten.)<br /><br />Me: ....<br /><br />Tony: Or you know, you could be all, "Hey muscular dystrophy, what's the deal?" And it would be all, "Actually you know that's not even our fault. It's a genetic thing. I don't know why everyone's all trying to blame us all the time. It's <em>your</em> genes that brought us here. Show us some love. Geeez." And I'd be like, "Oh, man, sorry muscular dystrophy, I didn't mean to offend you."<br /><br /><br /><br />Me: I refuse to validate this conversation with a statement.<br /><br />Tony: Fortunately, I don't need you for this conversation. I can have this all by myself.<br /><br /><br /><br />Silence.<br /><br /><br />Tony: Or like, what if you could talk to cancer? And you're all, "Hey Cancer, you're a jerk. Why are you trying to kill people?" And cancer would be like, "We're just multiplying and spreading the love!" And I'd be like, "Did you know that spreading the love means you're killing people?" And it would say, "What? No, we had no idea! Like we are born and die so fast that I didn't know the big picture. Like I didn't even know that we killed people! We're so sorry. We just are born, have babies and die. We didn't mean to hurt you." And then I'd be like, "Well, I have an idea. Why don't we send you to Antarctica where you'll be frozen and can't reproduce as much, and like, you'll still be able to be born and have babies and die and you'd only infect penguins but it wouldn't be as bad because it's so cold there and like they wouldn't die from it, and there would be all these penguins with cancer but like it would be okay and everyone wins."<br /><br /><br /><br />(Or something. Honestly I stopped listening a long time before this but I did tune in to hear something about cancer going to Antarctica and penguins. I don't really know where he was going with that.)<br /><br /><br />Long silence.<br /><br />Tony: Or I guess I could just say, "Hey cancer, maybe you could just go over to some meat and do your thing on that, you know, instead of on people." You see, after you talk and reason with something, it's just... it's hard to hate it, you know?Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-53446306313117506402009-10-07T17:31:00.001-07:002009-10-07T17:41:35.157-07:00Tony goes to the fabric store and is shocked and appalled when they don't have his college among the collection of tacky sports fleeces.Last night we were getting groceries for dinner and I asked Tony if he would mind stopping at the fabric store really quick just so I could buy some thread.<br />Tony has been to the fabric store with me before, but it was a cute local fabric store that only sells cotton, so he didn't exactly know what he was getting into when I dragged him into JoAnn Fabrics.<br /><br />Tony found himself in the aisle with fleece with sports and college logos all over them. This aisle is also known as<em> the tackiest and worst aisle in the store</em>.<br /><br />Then he spent about ten minutes in this aisle saying,<br />Where is the Texas fleece?<br />Oh, cool, look, there's the Blazers.<br />Wait, but for real, where is Texas?<br />Oh, what the? They have Texas Tech? They better have Texas.<br />Where is the Texas fleece?<br />Hey, do you see Texas?<br />WHAT?! Texas A&M! They better have Texas.<br />Where is it?<br />Oh, look, the Ducks.<br />But for real. Where is it?<br /><br />They must be out.<br /><br />So we continued with our shopping and then as I was checking out, Tony asked the lady at the desk, "So, are you out of the University of Texas fleece... or... like, why wasn't there any?"Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-57002365978141373062009-10-04T23:02:00.001-07:002009-10-05T00:05:58.018-07:00Tony has entirely too much fun with photos on my computer so I use it against him because I'm funnier than himRecently I photographed a wedding, and afterwards I was showing Tony the photos on my computer. There were two that came up in a row that he thought were funny and he said,<br /><br />"Oh, go back to that one. Okay, now go forward. Okay, back. Okay, forward."<br />So it basically looked like this:<br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dywM1W4TXHxHO-Ebi8jP0ss6FRUd4H3SWA6_bnN_P-Jb0F3sUOAh8BNyxYAHj49k51c5fQ1jfyoKe-VQ5UrQg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br /><a href="file:///Users/maureenoliver/Desktop/Sophie%20Owen%201.m4v"></a>It was pretty funny, we laughed.<br /><br /><br />Then today I photographed a little girl and Tony was just now looking over my shoulder at the photos and again, he found two that he thought were funny.<br /><br />So he said,<br />"Oh, go back to that one. Okay, now go forward. Okay, back. Okay, forward."<br /><br />Except this time he added:<br />"Stop going forward and back! Wait! Wait on that one! I have to ask her a question!"<br /><br />So I stopped on the first picture and he said,<br />"Do you think Maureen is pretty?"<br />And then he made the photos do this:<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwM33xPBLYogboXxOaroqqls_aqhJVQtaGjFdhwctzfM9h31n5lvCBYYt6eRj-wUmBYOfaXzvr1yc_l9m572w' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />Then he said,<br />"Do you think I'm hilarious?"<br />So I made the photos do this:<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyUDcCBMONk3MlG5iVB0-zYCY3l8O9okWA9SwcOcyZcP6PYEfkad_04fWShsBQ3oBg_a75tonbr991TwHaV_g' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />So who's the hilarious one now?<br /><br />Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-4323310586355888012009-10-03T20:38:00.000-07:002009-10-03T20:40:56.322-07:00Tony pretends he speaks Spanish because he has a hispanic last name but he really doesn'tLast night I had a bunch of people over for my friend's birthday party. We were all sitting around, a big group of people who Tony had never met, and one of them wanted to know how many of something Tony had.<br /><br />So she said,<br />Random Friend: Tony, how many do you have?<br />Tony: Dos<br /><br />Long pause...<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">That's Spanish for two. </span>Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-51813462211837084882009-10-02T10:08:00.000-07:002009-10-02T10:13:28.767-07:00Tony watches too much Curb Your Enthusiasm and becomes like Larry David. In fact, he doesn't curb his enthusiasm.[Me, calling Tony.]<br /><br />Ring... ring.<br /><br />Tony: Do you think a stutter is a good enough reason to get a handicapped parking spot?<br />Me: Excuse me?<br />Tony: Do you think a stutter is a good enough reason to get a handicapped parking spot?<br />Me: Yeah, that's what I thought you said.<br />Tony: So do you?<br />Me: No.<br />Tony: Yeah. Me neither.<br />Me: Dare I ask... why?<br />Tony: It's on Curb Your Enthusiasm. This guy takes a handicapped parking spot because he has a stutter and Larry David thinks it's stupid. This show is funny. It's preeety good. Preeeety Preeeety Preety good.<br />Me: Please stop.<br />Tony: Eh? Stop what, what'd I do? Eh? I'm just a-talkin.<br />Me: I'm breaking up with you now.Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6732302578297703527.post-76696282996361758682009-10-01T19:24:00.000-07:002009-10-01T22:30:10.365-07:00Tony goes crazy because of an oversized fly and spends the evening chasing it aroundTonight there was an oversized fly in the kitchen while we were cooking dinner. It was large, but, I mean, it was also <span style="font-style: italic;">a fly.</span> Which means, of course, that by its very nature, it is still small. It also means that it doesn't bite or sting, and it doesn't make a buzzing noise. It just flies. It's really not that big of a deal.<br /><br />Unless you're Tony.<br /><br />Tony made it his mission to destroy said oversized fly. It went like this:<br /><br />Tony: That fly is massive.<br />Me: Yes, it's pretty big.<br />Tony: That's annoying, I am going to kill it.<br />Me: Mmm-hmmm.<br />Tony: How do you kill a fly?<br />Me: I'm pretty sure that means you're not going to kill the fly.<br />Tony: Really, what should I kill it with?<br />Me: How about a newspaper?<br />Tony: Good idea!<br /><br />Then Tony picks up a roll of newspaper and starts trying to kill the fly. It looked like this. I wish I had video of this.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWE4NJerfI/AAAAAAAABUU/qZNUxyzDRt4/s1600-h/IMG_0065.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 168px; height: 220px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWE4NJerfI/AAAAAAAABUU/qZNUxyzDRt4/s320/IMG_0065.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387858630355627506" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWE4lnqzqI/AAAAAAAABUc/Iw37DhwaPBk/s1600-h/IMG_0066.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 173px; height: 220px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWE4lnqzqI/AAAAAAAABUc/Iw37DhwaPBk/s320/IMG_0066.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387858636924702370" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWE3nee0KI/AAAAAAAABUM/HIjLNN56T2E/s1600-h/IMG_0064.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 164px; height: 219px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWE3nee0KI/AAAAAAAABUM/HIjLNN56T2E/s320/IMG_0064.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387858620243169442" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWE4NJerfI/AAAAAAAABUU/qZNUxyzDRt4/s1600-h/IMG_0065.JPG"> </a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">(So don't judge my dirty kitchen and the poor quality of these photos. <span style="font-style: italic;">They were taken on my phone, okay?</span> And that box of mac n cheese? Please. I don't eat like that. It's just there because I was planning on bringing it down to the foodbank. Yeah, that's it.)</span><br /><br /><br />Me: You should probably wait until it lands.<br />Tony: It's not landing.<br />Me: Okay but you look like a crazy person. I would just wait until it lands.<br />Tony: Or I can chase it around and wear it out until it lands.<br />Me: Great idea.<br /><br />So we proceeded to make dinner and Tony continued to look like a crazy person chasing the fly. I started cleaning up a bit and accidentally recycled his newspaper.<br /><br />Tony: What the-- wait? Where is my newspaper?<br />Me: Oh, sorry. I recycled it.<br />Tony: Oh WHAT?! How am I supposed to kill the fly now?<br />Me: Just go take it out of the recycling. It's right on top.<br />Tony: What? Ew. No, I'm not going to do that.<br />Me: You're using it to <span style="font-style: italic;">kill a fly.<br /></span>Tony: It's fine, I will just use this shoe instead.<br />Me: Please don't break anything.<br /><br />I went back to what I was doing until, from the other room, I heard:<br /><br />Tony: I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM! YOU ARE DEAD YOU STUPID OVERSIZED FLY!<br />Me: He can't hear you.<br />Tony: LOOK! LOOK HOW BIG HE WAS AND I KILLED HIM!<br />Me: Pick it up. I want to take a picture.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWGYKJFJfI/AAAAAAAABUk/3VRmC1WMunY/s1600-h/IMG_0068.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 185px; height: 247px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWGYKJFJfI/AAAAAAAABUk/3VRmC1WMunY/s320/IMG_0068.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387860278816089586" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWGYtdCWvI/AAAAAAAABUs/q4fatUrzl7A/s1600-h/IMG_0069.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 185px; height: 247px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWGYtdCWvI/AAAAAAAABUs/q4fatUrzl7A/s320/IMG_0069.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387860288295033586" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWGZKeobAI/AAAAAAAABU0/2MA8DvagxwM/s1600-h/IMG_0070.JPG"> <img style="cursor: pointer; width: 187px; height: 249px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWGZKeobAI/AAAAAAAABU0/2MA8DvagxwM/s320/IMG_0070.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387860296086350850" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1mDqKGZzWjQ/SsWGYKJFJfI/AAAAAAAABUk/3VRmC1WMunY/s1600-h/IMG_0068.JPG"> </a><br /><br />So I didn't get a picture of the part where he was pumping his fists in the air in celebration, because, quite frankly, I didn't think he'd actually get the fly, so... I didn't have my camera ready. But basically what you missed was both fists in the air like the guy who just won the gold medal in the Olympics, except not just like any old Olympic athlete, but like, the guy who went to the Olympics from one of those countries you've never heard of but he just narrowly beat out the American guy and now he is going to go back and feed his entire village and he's crying and they're playing that music montage that shows pictures of him running barefoot on dirt and cutting back to his victory and he's doing that same arms-raised thing that Tony was doing when he killed the fly.<br /><br />And that was our evening's entertainment. And also the reason I started this blog.<br />Stay tuned, folks.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span>Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16953521704613439518noreply@blogger.com3